Going Home?

Going Home

Well I got some good news today. Not sure if it will pan out because there is alot of red tape but I have faith. A few days ago I prayed and asked YHVH to reveal the path that I should be on. The next step step in the process. I began an application to Knight Transportation. A short while later I got a call about an application that I had placed 6 months previous. The job is near the area where I want to live. There are many obstacles to overcome. I know that I can’t do any of them on my own.
Faith and obedience are my strengths at this time. I for the first time in a long time, am choosing to believe that YHVH is willing to give his best. I know that as long as I continue to pursue His statutes and commands as my main concern His concern will be how He will choose to bring blessings. For the first time ever I am seeing the hope that my deepest of hearts desires may soon come to fruition.
So I am going to sit and wait to see what happens but I am also purposing in my heart that if this job falls through because I can’t get these obstacles out of the way I will know that it is because He wants me in that place just a little longer.I will trust Him not matter which happens. All I know is that this road that may be opening is the beginning of my dreams coming true.

I am one.

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Seeking Favor

I have had many questions in following the Sabbath today was the first time I really have tried to follow the Sabath as it is written. I know that some might disagree with me on the subject all I can say is this. Take a look at your life and and see if you find the fruits of the spirit. If you do I would think you would want to find absolute truth as much as I. In my attempt at finding obedience in the Sabbath I am looking for devine favor or blessing. I have spent a long time in absolute poverty at least as much as what is typical in our nation. I know I am doing much much better than in the third world countries. The point is I am convinced that obedience out of love for my Savior will lead to a fulfilling of bibical promise on a personal level. For those of you who read this post please note the date is was posted. And if you follow any of my other blogs you will notice that I have two blogs that have no entries. I pray that this obedience will show faithful obedience that will allow for those two blogs to start taking shape. Only time will tell. I hope that things to change for the blessing of my few readers that it might be seen to love Him enough in all things to obey.
Durant

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She Is Worth It

I call her my fiancee, I showed her a printed vow of my love that we could sign. She took it seriously and said she needed to wait until she faced some of the pain she has been put through. She has been abused in so many ways I can’t even begin to know. It pains me that I was not their in her life to protect her. Yet I know that Adonai had his reasons. Some of them I know most I do not.

I stand by her side spiritually and emotionally though we live about 30 miles apart. That is better than the 3000 it was. Today I stand waiting for her to pass through the suffering. I pray for her all day every day. I have learned that she has been a source of great faith building for me. I am grateful for that. But I realize right now that the greatest thing I can do is pray for our unity in Yeshua. Not that I should pray that things move to fast for her to heal but that our relationship will be founded on the foundation of Yeshua. That we are both on Him as a great rock to stand on. This woman is the number 1 piece of my daily life,Her daughters are close behind. But she is not the foundation of every piece of my life. So despite her pain and sometimes letting her emotions sting my heart with a lashing, I still remain by her side loving her praying for her and waiting patiently for her to find the peace she needs to find before we can be together. That leaves me in a place where the only thing I can do is pray that Mat 12:25 is where Yeshua will lead us both. And in faith I must wait until its revealed.

If you see this my love know that I stand waiting and loving you. You are the only woman for me and all others have already been forsaken. Forever Yours Durant

http://durantinyeshua.weebly.com

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Forgiveness

I just watched “The Grace Card” the movie was little more than I expected until the end. This blog is about pain & forgiveness. And the poison of unforgiveness.

My ex-wife did caused so much pain that I had to separate. She was convicted of child abuse. After conviction, little changed.  I won’t go into details.

She also did things to me that was written in the original book The Art of War.

In the end she took my babies away from me and cut me off from seeing them until I can afford to fight her on it.

All my family feels she is a horrible woman.

If Adonia told me to return to her I surely would do it. Not because of desire ,or not letting go. But rather forgiveness and biblical charity. Though I doubt this will happen.

I can not stress enough how important it is to forgive those people who have hurt you the deepest. Find an old King James bible. Find the word charity,read the verses try and figure out what exactly the word means. American charity is NOT biblical charity.

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What’s In A Name?

Some years ago I was a telemarketer. I would have s screen pop up on my screen with a name on it. Then my head set would start ringing.  Some of the names that came across on my screen were impossible for my American mind to figure out. One that really stumped me was Ngo. Spanish names were also hard at times. Anything with a letter combination that did not work for American English to figure out made things difficult. To make matters worse when you pronounce a name wrong people get offended. I mean really mad. It’s a respect issue. People feel disrespected when you say their name wrong. This started an idea in my thinking about should we be careful to pronounce names? How about should we be careful to know the names of those we talk to. My idea here is this. If it is disrespect to call a person by the wrong name then it is more disrespectful to call the God we serve by improper names. Yes He is big enough to handle it. But should we be more reverent than that for the god we call Adonia (the Lord) I am daring to say maybe it’s better to error on the side of reverence than disrespect.

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A Prayers Chance

Have  you ever spent any time in a  place where your faith is all you have? You believe that Adonia is telling you the best will come, however circumstance screams of how impossible the situation is to improve. Then you get attacked with discouragement. Shortly after that fleshly temptations will follow, You are feeling so down the temptation weighs in against what is right.

Many times in the last weeks I have faced this horrible place. All I have been able to find to fight this battle is to make the choice to believe in Yeshua’s love (agape)despite the fact that it feels very hidden. Most times it is of great benefit to verbalize this choice several times over. Then pray about the situation.  I personally have seen the situation degrade in hours because of a failure in the temptation stage. This has happened to me many times. I always felt that it was to make a point, sin hinders prayer. And something willbe coming that I could not afford to loose over something stupid.
When we pull through the time of temptation it is easy to expect something great to suddenly happen. This most times will not. However rest in the fact that your prayers have not been hindered, then strive to find what ever evidence of Yeshua’s love love that can be found.
And remember to hang on to the faith that even if you can’t see it, it is there somewhere.  The bible says faith is attributed as righteousness.

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Leading to Honesty

     I figured something out some years ago about honesty. I made it part of my life. But in the last few days I have had the idea resurface. I am on a few social networks and on one in particular I have been seeing a lot of ladies wishing they could find honest men.  I feel for the non christian ladies as thier plight is near hopeless.  But that is to digress. 

     I want to aim this post not so much at women but rather men and parrents. And hope that lady readers will apply it through common sense understanding. First men who want honest wives or girlfriends.  Men have anger issues. As a man I think we all do to some degree. The question is when a situation arises do you as the man promote an honest response.  1 Peter 3:7 This verse is critical to promoting honesty in your wife.  Please take the time right now to look it up. Here is a short list of questions that if answered incorrectly will promote dishonesty in your wife.
Do you guilt trip?
Do you manipulate?
Do you accuse her of being unloving?
Do you yell and scream?
Do you get overly angry?
Do you accuse her of anything out of line for the situation?

     The wrong answer to any one of those questions on a consistent basis will promote a lying behaivior in your wife. You are making the effort of honesty not worth the pain of it.

                   Col 3:21

    The last time your child  was caught unaware in the cookie jar, how did you approach the situation? More than likely you asked them if they were into it. Now comes the point of impact will they lie or tell the truth. Question time.
Do you sweat the small stuff?
Do you discipline over spilled milk literally?
Does the discipline fit the crime when discipline is nesisary?
Do you belittle or humiliate them?
If you over kill for the small stuff do you under kill for big stuff making you unpredictable.

     How you speak to both children and spouse will either make or brake honesty. Eph 4:29

“It is better to be thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt”   Ben Franklin

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Another Talk With Shaul The Apostle.

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Should we Expect Reward?

This is a reply I was posting on a forum and decided I liked how well it was coming out so I decided to blog it. I dare not post the other persons quote without permission. So I am apologize for some of this that may seem a little odd because it was in reply to implied post. However I will say that he/she said that in faith we should take action in our faith without expectation of a reward. Below is my reply.

If we expect no reward, does that not mean we truly don’t believe His word. The bible is full of promises of reward. The greatest reward is of coarse God himself. But if I read this correctly (and I may not have) to try and take action toward Adonia with no expectation of reward from him whatsoever is to try and take action with disinterest. I desire to do the good that the bible commands simply for just that the promises of the bible being revealed.
Ps 37:7 PS 145:19 Mat 6:33  Each of these verse have promise in them. And each one has a command in it as well. Our focus should be on the command not the promise. Focusing on the promise to much creates bitterness when things are not going well. However focusing on the command and believing that the bible is true and we can stand on the promises is key to a enduring faith. When you stand on a large rock playing king of the hill you do not focus on the rock but on the task of holding your position on the rock. Standing on the promises of Adonia is much the same as that battle. The world,satan, and flesh wants to take us off the rock of salvation (aka biblical promise) Do I expect that Adonia will give me all my wants? No. But I do expect to receive my desires. And since the bible says that our heart is renewed, I will conclude that wants are much of the time fleshly and real desires align with what God wants. The real hard part is knowing the difference.

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Our Pleasure in Yahweh Vs Our Pain.

As you know I have children. However I have not seen them in sometime. It was a nasty divorce and because of a feminist judge I lost everything. Right now I am trying to find a gainful employment to recover as much as I can. But that is another topic that I may or may not cover at some point.

Since loosing my children I became full of pain. I hurt because I failed them. I hurt because I felt like Adonia failed me. I have done my best to grow beyond these pains without letting go of my children. In this process I have held on to much pain and not willing to let it go. Mostly because I miss my children and don’t want to loose any more of them than I have. But in the search for understanding Gods love I came across a book in which I am reading. It introduced the idea that holding on to the pains of the past can be a deadly hindrance in finding pleasure in who Yahweh as a whole really is. Or taking pleasure in His true nature and character.  This road will be a hard one for me to travel but I will post things that come out over the coarse of the road.

The first thing that hit me was that in holding on to the pain such as I did has caused a barrier or shield between Adonia and myself.  This was revealed when I screamed into the air why is it a sin for me to hurt. The answer was that the hurt was not a sin but the hanging onto it and letting shape much of who I am was.  And that is what I know I have been doing. I wonder if this is why Yahweh has been withholding a deeper committed relationship aka to find a christian spouse. I can see plainly how it pertains. It does affect me and the way I handle life in general.  So I am doing my best to find the pleasure of Yahweh’s full character and trying to cope with some deep pains. A deep pain of rejection starting with some attitudes that my dad showed me when I was younger and still maintains those same disappointments in all that I am today. Don’t worry forgiveness will be easy here it has been for a few years now. The other source of rejection has been because of relationships with the opposite sex especially my ex-wife. When she told me that she would do what it took to drive me off and did exactly that. The last feeling of rejection is direct from Adonia. Mind you I understand this is just a feeling. However when you greatly desire to take care of your own responsibilities such as paying child support and every job you try fails it becomes a source of pain. And in ignorance you begin to grapple with the understanding of what is going on any way you can which can mean that you come to a wrong conclusion toward the nature of Adonia’s intentions over the suffering in question.

I pray that as I go through this struggle and post what I learn here that some of the readers will find some resolution to their own struggles with pain. In a past post I left my face book and twitter available please consider that you have any questions or comments about this issue feel free to contact me there.  I will be posting again shortly on this subject as I face the pain of letting go of the pain that I have held onto so dearly for the last 6 years.

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